"Lie to me, lie to me, lie to me so sweet…"


I feel good,

The first of the month..of the new year..and I feel..free almost..I’m just more chill..laid back…more calm..I don’t quite know why..or how..but I like it…Positive vibes..I feel like..going to a beach or something..playing the acoustic guitar, closing my eyes..and just going with the flow…walk into the water…swim, float….just let go..all the way…

I have plans, goals that I want to reach this year..and I will reach them…I’m more determined than ever…

I hope everyone is having a great day today..start off the new year right..be blessed because you are, <3

notdavidbowie:

“Pussy is Mine” - Miguel

oh..this jawn is nice…forreal though..

(Source: )

Goodbye 2012..

I don’t even know where to begin..

This isn’t for likes, for reblogs..none of that..this is just like, a post for me..to look back on…a year from now..

2012, is about to be over..and oh have I been through a lot..

It didn’t really hit me, until now..just sitting back..thinking about all that’s went on this year..people that I’ve gotten to know, people that I’ve lost..but through it all, I’ve managed to learn more about myself..and grow more..

This life, this world..is in a war with itself…We have people out here struggling…homeless people..good people, with diseases..I can’t tell you how many people died of cancer this year..it’s crazy…This world…this world we live in..something has got to change..

I’ve had my share of health issues, that I have yet to face, and to deal with..to finally confront…for better or for worse…I just pray that God is with me through it all…

Me…I’m blessed…throughout everything that I’ve been through..friends, family, relationships…so many things can happen in a year..and it’s amazing to me just how fast a year can fly by..people think a year is a long time…it’s not…but I’m blessed…I’m blessed to have my family all still with me..I’m blessed for me…for everyone who was with me..helping me..and staying true to me this year..and for those who haven’t..for those who don’t like me, who’ve I got into it with..for those who done me so wrong..believe me you..when I say this..I forgive you..with all my mind, body and soul…

You see, life..as we all know it..is short..it really is..and I’ve been through a lot..and I know everyone else in this world has as well..but I learned that..it’s not about how you fall, it’s about how you get up..and move forward…period…and I know that now..I need to do the right thing..

Every year, people say the same thing..”New Year, New Me”..and don’t never change, right?..that’s just how people are..but what you need to be doing is not saying a new year a new me..you need to be saying a new year…first off thank you Jesus for allowing me to see another year…make better choices..you don’t have to change yourself every single time the new year comes around..you need to learn..and grow as a person..figure YOU out..you know…

2013..for me..it’s about me..and I hate to sound like..it’s all about me me me…that’s not even my character..but sometimes you really just have to put you first you know what I mean?..You just have to..and that’s what I’m doing..

I’m going back to school..and I’m more focused and determined than ever…I want to grow more as an adult..I’m a 20 year old black woman…and I know race doesn’t matter, but being black in america…it’s a battle because racism still lives..don’t ever think..that it’s going to fade over time..it’ll always be here..it’s instilled in people..and most, will never change..but for me..I’m about to sho’nuff tune them out…

I’m tuning everyone out..all the negativity…I use to say so many negative things this year..and I’m just tired of it…I’m tired of being that way..I’m tired of depending on people to make me happy..to hold me down..I want to become more independent and on my own..hold myself down, and not depend on people to do just that..

I was thinking about making a new tumblr..just because I don’t want to be in contact with a crowd of people who I know are on my page..I just want to cut those people off..all the way..I don’t want them to even know what I’m doing, what I’m up to, how I’m doing..nothing..I don’t even want to know about them either..I want to leave them right in the past..

Then I thought about it..I’m not running..and I mean, it wasn’t running to begin with..but why should I, start all over..because of some people who don’t mean anything anyways…I just simply don’t care anymore…

If you don’t like me, okay..that’s you..but don’t think for a second that I’m going to sit here and allow you to have some sort of control over my life..”Somebody den told you wrong” -In my Martin Voice- lbVs..but I’m being straight up though..no more of that..I don’t CARE..not anymore…I’m done with that man..all that petty garbage, miss me with all that alright?…

I pray..to become more closer with God..I’m already a PK (Preacher’s Kid)…and growing up in the church we had a sense of how to do the right things..but since we’ve fell off…since things that happened the way it did..we haven’t been to church in a while..and that’s okay..because I know that going to church doesn’t automatically mean that you’re saved..it doesn’t make you any holy than the next person…but I pray..I really do..I want to get into the word more..to help me through my life..and I pray to God, that I get fully saved…I yearn for it..to live the right way…with God in my life..gives me direction…teaches me so much…and I can’t wait until that day comes..and I plan to get baptized a second time..just to feel it…God is always with me..and I know that soon..we’ll connect…on a higher level…and that he’ll be with me in this life..and the next life..

Relationships…who knew, that I would be in one this year..I didn’t think so..and although I know God makes no mistakes..but I never thought that from March Until December, this year..would I have went through all that I’ve went through..like forreal…dealing with people..it’s crazy…him and his off the hook friends..the hoes that he gave into..the lies he’s told..all this crap man..I tell you..I know I use to write mad stuff on here about EVERYTHING…we were going through, and that was my problem to..I shouldn’t have done that..but then again I had no one else to speak with about my situations..so I didn’t have anywhere else to turn..and it surprised me, that most of my situations..women out there liked..it was amazing to see just how many people felt what I felt..commented saying that’s their life..Just when you think no one else is going through what you’re going through..believe me, you’ll be amazed at how many people are going through the very situation you’re going through….and I know that now..and maybe writing it on here..was a good thing…because I’ve met some amazing people on this site..

Infinitebeautywithin, Atiaraimhere, Bellebossmama,and Missneash..These are 4 ladies I’ve talked to personally…and believe it or not..their conversation..lifted me, their words..helped me..more than they’ll ever know..and that’s coming straight from the heart..whether you see this or not, I just want you to know that you are appreciated..and thank you..and not just them, everyone who follows me..trust me..I notice..and I appreciate every single one of you..honestly..you all are appreciated..

This might be too much information..but I’m 20..and I’m still a virgin..now days..most men don’t like that..and they are quick to leave when they hear that..they’re really quick to step off when they find out that I want to wait until marriage to even have sex….Literally, I’m pure..and I mean that…FULLY PURE…and while men think that that’s a good thing..I still don’t understand why it’s such a big deal..sex is overrated to me..it doesn’t define the entire relationship..but I have faith in God that he’ll send me someone who does respect the fact that I don’t want to have sex…and I know that my blessing will soon come..

Friendships…man, anyone who knows me..knows I never go by the term “friends”..and I learned that from my mother..no one is your friend..I have associates..and that’s only a handful at that..but this year..I hope to find at least one real person that I can just kick it with..just chill man..I’m not with all the drama anymore..I had those days when I was 13-16..I just want it to be over now..I’ve out grown that junk..seriously..I just want to be around positive people, who are doing something with their lives..because if you’re around people that aren’t doing anything..what can they do for you?…nothing, but try and bring you down right along with them..but surrounding people who are positive..wanting to do something with themselves…they will help you rise..support you, encourage you..and that’s the crowd I want to be around, so hopefully I meet some folk like that next year…

I remember how I use to care so much about what people think about me..and now..believe me..I’m starting not to care anymore..I’m really not..why care though? why?..so you can go home crying..and they go on about their day?..You should never let anyone have that much control over your life to where they determine if you’re going to be happy or not..and that’s word..please..just, don’t do it..ignore them, tune them mugs out..forreal..they ain’t nobody, trust me..let it brush right off you..don’t listen to people..they just want attention..and we ain’t giving it to them alright?..

Family..anyone who knows me, knows that..I’m a very very family oriented person..I love my family…family should always stick together..and I’m truly blessed..I should have done my family first in this post but my mind is everywhere..and I have so much to write..so much I want to say…but yeah..I’m truly blessed, to have my family…alive..here with me..another year…healthy, smiling…breathing..being here…I love my family..more than myself…and that’s a true statement…and I’m not talking about cousins and all that..I mean don’t get me wrong..I love them as well…but my family..my siblings..my parents..and my grandparents…I just love them..and God has really blessed me..because they are still here with me..and I thank him for that…I love my family..and I can’t say it enough..no matter how many arguments we have…I don’t care..I love my family and for them..I would do anything…

Me..myself & I…

I love myself…well let me rephrase that…I’m learning to love myself..Over the years I have not been comfortable with myself…and all these years I’ve been trying to change to make OTHER people like me, accept me..to make that school crush look my way..and I look back on just how stupid I was for doing so..but it was apart of growing up..but now..it’s over with..

I want people to be around me, for ME..I don’t want to have to change for no one..I want to be myself around people..and I’m not about to keep holding onto people who don’t want to be kept..I’m not about to fight for anyone who doesn’t even want to be in my life..it’s pointless..I know I’m not perfect..but let me tell you what I know I am…

I will probably be the most loyal person you could ever meet..I’m real to myself, so you know that’s all I can be with you, and the other way around…If you got me..trust me, I got you..all the way..I’m down for whatever..it’s when people start to take advantage…that’s when I drop people..quick..but overall man, believe me..I’m not a bad person, do I make mistakes, yes I’m human..but I’m really not that bad…I’m not with all the drama..I like to chill, I love to have fun..and honest fun at that..just be me..and if you treat me good, I’ll treat you the same way..

I hope to change some of my bad habits…lose the weight that I want to lose..build my confidence up…be more independent…more of a young woman…and with God, any and everything is possible..and I believe that..Faith..is what gets me through it all..

2013..I pray that you’re good to me..I pray that I complete my goals..reach as high as I possibly can..grow more as a person…and mature more…


I can feel myself changing..I’ve been feeling this way for about 2 weeks now…Every situation that I’ve been in..it helped me to grow more wise…and I’m blessed and so thankful for that…Situations might not be the best to go through…but believe me, everything happens for a reason..it’s a lesson in every struggle..so keep holding on..holding on to faith..and trust me..your blessings will start to come..

If you’ve made it to this last paragraph..thank you lol..for reading..I really appreciate it..a lot…you’ll never know..but to everyone..even the people I’m not cool with, people who don’t like me..even people I don’t even know..I wish you a very happy new year..start it off the right way..with the right foot…please..leave all the bad in 2012..drop those who aren’t doing you any good..forget the people who did you wrong..people that don’t like you..FORGET THEM..trust, you’ll be alright…I pray for many blessings to come your way..and I pray that God be with you…Everyone..God bless you..and be blessed because you are…and I’ll get back with you all next year!

And to all my fallen soldiers…not just from this year..people that I’ve grown up with..people that I knew from around the way..people I didn’t even know..who passed…you’re never forgotten…and may God be with you always…this is for all my fallen soldiers…my life, that I’m living..I’m doing it for you..because you never got the chance…I miss you all..and you’re never forgotten in my heart..never…I’ll always think of you..and love you..and I’ll always be missing you…and knowing God..I know that he’s doing you so well..and that you’re in a better place..truly…I love you…

-Bri

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